Well, well…we have once again arrived at that time of year, where we reflect on the twelve months just passed and prepare ourselves for the coming year. In today’s post, I would like to share with you both the high and the not-so-high points of my 2017 (massive shoutout to @planetjanet life on Twitter for the idea!).
Let’s begin with a positive:
High: Facing Fears
Since moving to university, I have had to face countless fears – and many of them I have overcome in the last few months alone. Not too long ago, I struggled to leave the house without the reassurance of my Mum by my side. Social interactions felt near impossible, and resulted in distressing symptoms of anxiety such as overheating and an upset stomach. Despite this, I have spent the last year taking trains and buses alone, attending appointments with new people at unfamiliar locations, and navigating my way around a busy city hours away from home. I’m proud of how much I’ve overcome my anxiety this year, and therefore include it as a high point of my 2017.
Low: Relapse & Realisations
Whilst generally doing well in one area of my mental health, other aspects have presented a massive challenge. Early on in the year, I spiralled back into anorexia’s tight grip. It meant that I had to cut my first year of university short and in March, I found myself living back at home. The plan was that I would take a six-month break and return for my second year in much better health. However, plans don’t always work out in the way that you hope, and that is certainly true in this case. Unfortunately, anorexia has continued to dominate the majority of my 2017 and now, I am having to consider deferring my university studies for good and a possible inpatient admission. I end this year on a rather low point in my life – faced with the reality of the damage and destruction that anorexia has caused not only me, but those around me too.
High: Blogging Breakthroughs
And on that dreary note, back to the positives! In the world of blogging, many of the things which I had hoped to achieve for ‘Lisa’s Reality’ I have indeed managed to this year. For one, I can finally say that I’m self-hosting my little blog (which to me feels like a rather big thing!). I’ve also worked hard on the appearance of my page and I’m rather pleased with how everything has come together. Sure, I’m not the most popular blogger out there. Nevertheless, it is nice to admire something which I have created myself and watch as it (hopefully) grows into something more.
Turning Twenty (both a high and a low?)
As hard as it is to believe (considering I still look twelve) I turned twenty in October. This has left me with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am excited (I think?) for what my twenties may bring. I really do want to make these the best years of my life and work hard on regaining both my mental and physical health. I don’t care what anybody says, teenage years are bloody hard work! And so I am slightly relieved to be leaving them behind. On the flip side, however, being a ‘proper adult’ terrifies me. I fear I no longer have any excuse for not having my sh*t together (I really don’t have my sh*t together) and so I find myself dealing with new pressures and expectations – which I’m sure will only continue in the new year…
What are your highs and lows from 2017?
Thank you for reading,